Professor Val's Sex, Drugs, & Rock n Roll Blog

Drive By Tongue Bitch Rant #1

2009-10-26T20:21:00.004-04:00

Professor Val has a great friend who, from time to time, shares her wisdom-usually in a moment of twisted angst... Here is her latest Drive By Tongue Bitch Rant

"I can't think straight as my bra is very uncomfortable. And then I thought - why is the female gender subjected to having to endure such an uncomfortable device?

Admittedly, a bra does improve the way we look (influenced of course by culture). Now I ask, who on this planet enjoys viewing mushy, lumpy man pants? Men should have to wear a ballssier. Equipped with metal underwires to "lift and separate". They can start out as already awkward adolescents with training ballssiers. Then to bolster their self-esteem and affirm their identity as sexual objects, they can then be forced to wear skimpy ballssiers that are highly uncomfortable and have their goods slip out of the the supportive device.

As midlife approaches, the ballssier can then take on a look that screams to them, 'you have no sex appeal left' where they are then forced to wear large, shapeless nut-cradles. To complete the concept, they should also have to purchase (sold separately of course) deodorizing inserts. I cant wait to witness a man having to spread his legs in a department store in order to be properly sized, then informed that the store doesnt carry that small a size. Lets hear it for the circulation of internet jokes poking fun at aging men and their drooping sacs. For my next thought, I may get into designing a 'testogram' replicated after the mammogram. "

Tongue Bitch Signing Off
...until next time

Housework Foreplay...

2009-10-21T20:07:00.005-04:00

I have been telling folks this for years. (I'm going to present this from the view point of the man complaining he isnt getting enough sex but it can just as easily be the woman complaining about the man...)

Couples often bicker about keeping the house clean, taking care of the kids, cooking, doing errands, etc. Say what you want about "women's lib", I feel that those pioneers did not think things through to the end result. Yes women can go out and work and make as much, if not more money than men, but they are also STILL stuck in the kitchen, taking care of the kids, carpooling, cleaning, etc. Women fighting to become part of the work force is also one of the reasons that we need two-income families now just to make ends meet-it changed the economy of the USA (but I digress..)

Are there men out there pulling their weight? Yes. Are there men out there doing everything for the kids, house, wife and still working full time? Yes. Are their lazy women out there doing absolutely nothing? Yes. The majority of the time it's still the woman who has more crap piled on her than time in the day to get it all done.

Instead of whining and complaining that you are not getting enough sex at home, how about pitching in with the chores and the kids and all of that mundane junk? It should not always be the woman's responsibility to do all of that plus work while the man comes home at the end of the workday and does nothing. I'm not saying it's always like this but if it is that way in YOUR relationship, get a clue please...

Taking some of that responsibility as your own can really go a long way in helping a woman feel less like a servant and more like the sexy woman she was before the situation wore her the hell out. It's hard to feel sexy and horny when you are utterly exhausted and extremely resentful that you are stuck doing all of it yourself.

And dads, PLEASE do not ever say "oh, I can't go bowling because I'm babysitting tonight". No, you are not babysitting. They are your kids-you are being a dad. I have never heard a mom say she was babysitting her own kids-have you?

So let's recap... (1) doing your share of housework is better foreplay than the special trick you do with your tongue; (2) recognize that women's lib was not meant to doom a woman to working full time AND being responsible for the entire household but it did change the economy in a way that we now really do need two-incomes to make ends meet in many instances; (3) dads do not BABYSIT their own kids.

Kudos to the men out there who already get this...you are wise! Kick in the ass to men who do not get this-pitch in at home or don't complain that your woman is too tired to also service you.

Comments? I'm sure there will be ;)

Typing this as her hubby is washing the dishes,

Professor Val

Oh and PS.... I just read an article where President Obama was talking about something similar... http://news.aol.com/article/obama-discusses-negotiations-in-his/731906

Update Your "Secret Toy Stash"

2009-08-23T09:17:00.004-04:00

Is it time to spice up your sex life and update your secret toy stash? Many single folks and couples (and groups) enjoy using vibrators, dildos, anal stimulators, bondage furniture... the list could go on forever. Why not reignite your own sexuality with some toys to use privately or with someone else? Sometimes that's all it takes! This shop has great prices so get to it!

Go treat yourself!

Here's a place with variety and great prices to get you started... ORGASM SHOPPE

Mammography: To Squeeze Or Not To Squeeze...(under age 50)

2008-03-23T10:20:00.002-04:00

Breast heath is nothing to fool with. How a woman takes care of her breasts is a very individual decision. Some women follow the doc's orders and give themselves monthly self-breast exams-good for you for being proactive. Some women will follow their doc's recommendations to get a baseline mammogram at age 35 and then have yearly screenings from age 40 on. Others choose other avenues such as Thermography screenings(4).(6)

Whatever you choose, thorougly research it using valid and appropriate material. Be very careful when researching on line-there is a lot of BS out there. Aside from checking out what the AMA has to say, you might also want to check out what's going on in the medical associations in Europe and other areas. Here's a statement from the AMA in Australia.(5)

Herein lies the rub... mammograms and thermographies are completely different kinds of screenings and in a perfect world doing a combination screening yearly would be a two-punch knockout. Unfortunately that's not best idea because of the longlasting effects of mammographies. With thermographies you have to make sure that the equipment is the latest available and the technician is trained well. Unfortunately there are no general standards or licensing so you have to be careful. My thermography office always has the newest equipment and an awesome tech. Further, the results are interpreted by a top radiologist. (4)

Thermographies have limitiations in that they are not covered by insurance, doctors dont back them, and they can't really get into dense breast tissue to see what's doin'. On the other hand, thermographies watch changes in your circulatory system and can spot a suspicious branching of the system about 10 years before a tumor even thinks about growing. Now THAT is preventative, wouldn't you say? Also, There is zero radiation, zero invasiveness, and zero breast squeezing. Breast squeezing is not only uncomfortable but also damaging to the delicate tissue-let me know when they start squeezing testicles between plates before they zap them with radiation for screening purposes.

Mammograms have their limitations as well. You are exposed to 0.7 mSv radiation FOR EACH SHOT "which is about the same as the average person receives from background radiation in three months" (1). When I went for my baseline mammogram, not only did they take a bunch of shots but I had to go back because they didn't like the shots they got (or thought they saw something-they are not usually straight with you) and all together I bet I had near 8 to 10... lets add that up for a second... that's 7 mSv not POINT 7 and that is THIRTY MONTHS of background radiation-30 months is 2 1/2 years worth and that's just for ONE mammogram session. False positives for women between the ages of 40 and 49 is approx 15% (1). Imagine all the fun those false positives lead to. There are also a good number of false negatives...

Now lets throw this little diddy in... for women ages 40 to 49, there is no significant decrease in breast cancer deaths from having yearly screenings and worse, you've now been exposed to 10 years of radiation. "This usually requires at least two mammograms from different angles of each breast." (2). I'm not sure how many different angles are used but lets just say they take 4 shots of each breast-that's 8 shots and 5.6 mSv which is 2 years worth of "background radiation" every year for approximately 20 years worth of additional background radiation including the initial baseline mammogram.

Ready? For women ages 40 to 49 the amount of radiation you have been exposed to INCREASES your chances of getting breast cancer by percentages that vary from article to article AND DO NOT REDUCE DEATHS from breast cancer. At the insistence of my mother I spoke to a doctor about this and when I brought that point up she got very cranky with me and said that may be true but it changes the treatment options available to you. Lets be real here-all treatment options are unpleasant, to put it mildly and no more women will be walking the earth having had mammograms than those who had their tumors discovered via monthly self-screenings or yearly doctor's screening-but they now have 20 years worth of radiation pumped into their breasts...

It's a very different story for women ages 50 to 69. Yearly mammograms lower breast cancer deaths by approximately 25%.

So what's the answer? There is no way in hell I'm exposing my girls to that much unnecessary radiation. I go for yearly thermography screenings which address one side of the coin but are not perfect on their own and I do my monthly self-exams regularly. My conundrum starts here-what other screening tool can I use that will not add to my chances of breast cancer both from radiation AND also the damaging of the delicate breast tissue in the unmerciful squeezing done by the mammogram. Digital ultrasound is one option I've been looking into. Another is MRI. Women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer in one breast and go for an MRI follow up have found that they often have cancer in the other breast which was MISSED by the mammogram 90% of the time... 90% failure rate in picking up the cancer in the other breast.(3) MRIs do not expose you to radiation. Problem here is-will my insurance cover it? You can't randomly go in and request an MRI to avoid mammography.

I'm not even going to address the politics here but feel free to further research that aspect of the mammogram world.

So, how will YOU care for your girls?

Professor Val

(1) http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=mammo&bhcp=1

(2) http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mammogram/WO00023

(3) http://www.cancer.gov/newscenter/pressreleases/MRIContralateralRelease

(4) http://www.arcadianaturalmedicine.com/thermography.php

(5) http://www.ama.com.au/web.nsf/doc/SHED-5FK23T

(6) http://iamtonline.org/

Chubby Cheerleaders? hm...

2008-03-02T09:11:00.001-05:00

There are many discussions about how the media keeps telling us (and showing us) what they consider the perfect body female. Models are a size zero (although that is changing-slowly), skin must look like porcelain, breasts start at the neckline and jut out about a foot, diet pills are flying off the shelves, diet companies are making $ hand over fist delivering food to your house in boxes that do not even need refrigeration...

And then there is how the media portrays men. There have been a plethora of sitcoms on TV where the main female character is the usual cute, tiny, sexy thing and the husband is a big guy. The only popular sitcom where the woman was larger sized was Roseanne and her husband was pretty equal in size... Where is the heavy woman with the buff dude couple out there?

So now this...The Florida Marlins are looking for a few heavy men to be chubby cheerleaders called Manatees... Where is the outrage? Am I the only one pissed off? On the one side you think-"hey, this could be funny-these guys have balls doing that". On the other hand you think "What kind of esteem do these guys have to go out on the field like a bunch of fat clowns to be laughed at while their manteets jiggle?" (click here for the full story).

The Chicago Bulls already have a similar cheerleading squad called the Matadors...

What is your opinion? Is this as f'ed up as I think it is or am I just being sensitive because I've had weight issues since my mid 20s...up and down.. up and down.. presently on the down swing

Off to sweat with Yo Adrienne (trainer),

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone/in-person life coaching site: S oma Space Coaching)

Real Live Ghost Busters? YES!

2008-02-23T12:31:00.002-05:00

Smalley's Inn in Carmel NY is well known for it's spiritual guests-not the woo spiritual we usually talk about... real live ghosts! (live ghosts?) Click here to read the whole article.

Ghost hunting is not a new phenomenon but recently has been in the media more often. We have invited two experts on our Naked Soma Raw Consciousness Radio Show this Wed night (9pm EST). Meet Amy and Kristie and hear all about their experience with the paranormal. Bring your questions and your stories to share on the show. Click here for our Radio Show.

Take a look at Amy's photo... can you tell us her domain?

Here is Kristie.. any idea what her domain is?

Tune in to Naked Soma Wed at 9pm EST to find out if you were right!

Wondering if ghosts have domains,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone (and in person) life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Lemon in your drink?? THINK AGAIN!! ACK!!!

2008-02-16T18:56:00.002-05:00

Here is a report about what is on those lovely slices of lemon you get in the restaurant... can you say FECES and 25 microorganisms? Filthy freaking sapes... damn it be more careful!!

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

I'm going to bring my own damn lemon from now on...

That's all I've got to say on that

Professor Val signing off singing Zeppelin lyrics... Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg, The way you squeeze my lemon, I..I'm gonna fall right out of bed... (and maybe into your drink )

DRUGS: Advertising Drugs... Is it ethical?

2008-02-10T09:38:00.000-05:00

While I'm watching all of my dopey TV shows I'm nauseated by the medical commercials from medication to plastic surgery to Lasik eye surgery (which is now linked to suicide in some cases)...

Now Dr. Jarvik, the dude who invented the first artificial heart is catching crap for his commercials for Lipitor. Apparently he's not a licensed MD although he is a medical doctor. They used body doubles in his commercials (he doesn't row etc)... now they are wondering if he is even taking Lipitor...

I really wish the holistic/homeopathic folks out there would start advertising on TV. We are conditioning Sapes to just follow the allopathic route to health. It's not the only way and it's not necessarily the best way to handle many conditions.

Did you know that some experts believe that it is possible for biopsies to spread cancer cells? Have you ever heard that before? No? I'm not surprised... the allopaths are not advertising that little tidbit. The only information I have found on line about this issue comes from alternative health sites. If anyone finds any research studies on the topic, please let us know.

The bottom line is that we need to educate the Sapes that there are other effective ways to treat illnesses and disorders. Please people, be open minded and be logical... if something seems to good to be true it probably is. Be an educated healthcare consumer!!

Prevention Sapes... PREVENTION!!,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone (and in person) life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching) AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS! It's time to make those changes you've been putting off

Dirt Cookies and Domains

2008-02-03T09:32:00.000-05:00

As I was looking at the headlines this week I came across an article about the expense of food in Haiti and how the poor do not have enough money to buy even the cheapest of staple foods we take for granted here so they are forced to eat dirt cookies. CLICK HERE to read the whole article .

Read the article and listen to your body's response to it. What was your reaction? What words went through your mind? What feelings came over your body? What thoughts ran through you...

Does your primary domain affect the way you respond to an article such as this? My husband and I were both appalled when we read the article but we had different responses. I being ECO and he being EXO (and above that being human) were sickened on many levels but the outward expression was quite different.

Show this article to some other sapes and compare the reactions... do you see any correlation to the domains and the type of reaction?

Food for thought,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Losing Your Cool? When Is It Time To Get Help?

2008-01-26T21:42:00.000-05:00

Have you ever lost it like this woman in the video? (click on "Losing Your Cool?... to see the video) She's not making much sense-she's completely illogical and although I can't see her eyes, you can bet your bippy she's ONTO.

I'm sure that even perfectly rational Sapes can lose it once in a while. When is "too much" or "too intense". Remember, you don't get angry-angry gets YOU!

There are ways to handle things when feelings get physical. You could come and talk to us at Soma Space or buy our "Help Yourself" audio product. You could go for anger management classes. You could learn meditation, tai chi, or you could learn how to redirect your anger into areas that are not destructive.

But how do you know when you are getting angry? Click here for the early warning signs (might stop you before you lose it if you know what to look for). When is it time to seek help? If you are even questioning it you might want to get some feedback from a professional. One thing that usually stands out is that the anger is affecting your relationships/job/etc.

How do you handle your anger? Are you doing the best you can to keep yourself together? If not, are you brave enough/smart enough to actually seek help? Don't let anger F your life up...

What's it going to be, Sape?

Takin' Mine To The Gym,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone/in-person life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Fitness, PHYLOs and Flab

2008-01-19T21:14:00.000-05:00

Fitness, PHYLOs and Freakin' Flab

		Saturday, 19 January 08 - 07:24 PM By Professor Val

I was surprised that ECO Queen Latifah agreed to go on Jenny Craig like ONTOs Valerie Bertinelli and Kirsty Ally did. The Queen has always been a very proud BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) so I did a little research online to find out what was going on. QL was saying that she wanted to lose a small percentage of her body weight to decrease her chance of becoming diabetic, as it runs in the family and she specifically stated that her grandmother was diabetic. She also took a lot of flack because she had "cosmetic surgery". I researched that and found out she had a medically necessary breast reduction because of back issues. She went from an F cup to a DD. She was upset that her funbags were one size smaller than she had wanted but they are what they are now. Queen Latifah was saying that portion control was an issue for her so certainly a package of JC grub might do the trick (at least temporarily... hey, has anyone seen Kirsty lately?)

So I went on youtube looking for a video on Queen Latifah and I didn't find what I was looking for but I did find a video in which the Queen was mentioned. This young woman who identifies herself as SoSoBlessed (PHYLO) talks about what drove her (a BBW) to decide to lose some weight. Check it out here - Proud BBW (but it's time to lose weight)

It made me think about my own weight/fitness situation and what was the final straw for me (this time) to get focused on getting my fat ass to the gym. I have been eating extremely well for several years but the weight is stubborn and I hate exercise. Thank the goddess that Yo Adrienne came into my life and has been my personal trainer and friend since the summer. Once the college went on break I started going to the gym 6 days per week, approx 2 hours per day. I've kept this up since the beginning of December and I'm reflecting now...being that I despise exercise, what has kept me motivated (beside Yo Adrienne)?

While out to dinner with my hubby we started talking about these things... Rick said that the domains probably affected sapes motivation for getting fit and we started going through each of the domains.

Rick felt that PHYLOs would want to get into shape so that it increased their chances of bonding with others. It was a way they could attract sapes.

Then came the ONTOs... Rick said that they were mostly concerned with how their bodies reflected on them as people and they were concerned with being on their A game. I added that it was a place they could gain some control and they like that.

We skipped over ECOs motivation for the moment...Rick said "I don't know why you people (meaning ECOs since I am an ECO) do anything" LOL wiseass... We'll get back to that.

EXOs, he felt, will work toward attaining a predetermined and specific performance goal. For example, Rick might want to take his recumbent bicycle on the bike path and do 60 miles in a day so he'd train toward the specific goal of conditioning his body to be able to go the 60 miles with ease.

I thought a little more about what motivates me, an ECO, toward my fitness goals. Sure I'd like to get rid of some fat but that's not what motivates me. One of the main things that has always motivated me is staying healthy and avoiding doctors-I really don't like those sapes very much (nothing personal, MD) and I'd like to see them as little as I can until someone plants me in the dirt. There had to be something else keeping me in the gym 2 hours a day and making me feel that "something is wrong" when I take my one day off per week... I spoke to Dr. Mark about this today and he hit the nail right on the head... what is motivating me on a daily basis is the emotional high I'm getting from the exercise-I've become an endorphin junkie! Not only do I get a nice high from the endorphin rush but also from the social environment of the gym where I have made some interesting new acquaintances. When I walk in the gym now I feel like a much lighter version, of Norm on Cheers, sans testicles of course...

Tell us, what's your domain and what is YOUR motivation for getting fit... Leave a comment and share your story!

In the meanwhile I'll keep tightening dat ass

The Incredibly Shrinking ECO,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

New Year's Resolutions.... UGH!!!

2007-12-30T09:11:00.000-05:00

Every New Year many Sapes make New Year Resolutions. This is an ancient ritual which dates back to 153 BC (and I doubt more than a handful of people have followed through since) started by Janus, the mythical king of Rome. Janus...January.... it's not a coincidence, my friends.

According to the article "Top 10 New Year's Resolutions" by K. and A. Powell, they are:

1) Spending more time with family and friends
2) Getting Fit
3) Losing Weight
4) Quiting Smoking
5) Enjoying Life More
6) Quitting The Booze
7) Getting Out Of Debt
8) Learning Something New
9) Helping Others
10) Getting Organized

Most of those are either changing unhealthy habits of feeling guilty about something you did or didn't do.

Is this really how us Sapes live? Do we LOOK to virtually kill ourselves with unhealthy habits and stress (not to mention doing stupid things that cause guilt)? WTF are we doing?

There has to be a better way.

I'd like to know why we wait until January 1st to think about changing all the stupid things we do all year and then when we do try to change these habits, we fail... ask Dr. Mark about the "adult brain".

If you are under 25 years old, do yourself a favor and make long term lifestyle change NOW and don't fall backward. If you are over 25 it's going to take a lot more work to make these changes and your success rate drops dramatically.

One thing you can do to increase the chance of making these lifelong changes is to rebuild your somatic self. Think about downloading our Somatic Companion 30 Day Emotional Makeover right this freaking minute and get started making these changes TODAY. A more coherent Sape is more likely to reach their goals. How old are you again? Ah yes... and you are STILL struggling with the same bad habits and unmet goals. Think outside the box and try from a new angle to get into a better place- body, mind AND spirit...

Listen people, I've gone through the program and I know what happens at the end of the 30 days. You'll see life in a completely different way and that's a very GOOD thing!

More Coherent (and in better shape) Every Day,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Italian expert links first Christmas celebration to pagan shrine in Rome

2007-12-22T21:55:00.000-05:00

Imagine how these archaeologists must have felt when they unearthed an ancient grotto where the "mythological" Remus and Romulus were nursed by a she-wolf. Perhaps they were not as mythological as suspected...

The ancient Pagans worshiped many gods and goddesses. When Christianity came along they felt that these "ignorant Pagans" were at risk of eternal damnation so they tried to save them.

A church was almost always built near or on top of a previously Pagan worship site. This is the case with this new discovery as well. The archaeologists may have uncovered the first place Christmas was ever celebrated... check out the article-it's really neat!

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule/Saturnalia, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or any other winter holiday, we at Soma Space Coaching wish you happiness, and wellness now and always!

Checking her stocking for coal and rearranging her penguin decorations (love my penguins!),

Professor Val

(Need some Personal Development Work? Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: The 4 Domains Are Found EVERYWHERE...even in your pants... so to speak

2007-12-08T19:05:00.000-05:00

Because I teach Human Sexuality I always scan the news for interesting articles about sexuality. I came across this article (click on SEX: The 4 Domains... to read the whole article) that discusses research conducted at the University of Texas at Austin. They found 237 reasons Sapes have sex. These reasons ranged from the logical to the ridiculous.

What I found most interesting about the article is that they took these 237 reasons and put them into 4 categories... and I quote:

"Physical: “The person had beautiful eyes” or “a desirable body,” or “was good kisser” or “too physically attractive to resist.” Or “I wanted to achieve an orgasm.”

Goal Attainment: “I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner” or “break up a rival’s relationship” or “make money” or “be popular.” Or “because of a bet.”

Emotional: “I wanted to communicate at a deeper level” or “lift my partner’s spirits” or “say ‘Thank you.’ ” Or just because “the person was intelligent.”

Insecurity: “I felt like it was my duty” or “I wanted to boost my self-esteem” or “It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.”"

Now lets see how the 4 Domains fit in here...

Insecurity: PHYLO...why? Because PHYLOs are the bonders and are often worried about taking care of everyone else's needs otherwise those other Sapes may not continue to like them.

Goal Attainment: ONTO...why? Because ONTOs are extremely goal oriented. There is often an ulterior motive for them to have sex. Some examples might be (now ONTOs don't get pissed at me...you know these ideas have crossed your mind) to get someone to do your bidding, to get even with someone or piss someone else off.

Emotional: ECO...why? When we discussed this in class, many students thought "emotional" would be a PHYLO reason but it's not. ECOs are very empathic and they want to connect with other Sapes on a deep and intimate level. Sex is one avenue to connect spirit to spirit, if you will.

Physical: EXO...why? Because EXO is an external domain and it's a What You See Is What You Get (WYSIWYG) situation. EXOs connect easier physically than they do emotionally.

What are your thoughts? Those of you who know your primary domain please give us some insight into your experience and let us know if you agree or disagree with the above.

As an ECO I will tell you that it's dead on for me...

Shining Up My ECO Connector,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Alexyss Tylor TONIGHT on Naked Soma

2007-12-05T10:24:00.000-05:00

Do NOT miss this radio show! It airs tonight (Wed) at 8pm EST on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nakedsoma. It's nice to listen to the radio right on your PC while you are checking mail or chatting.

Alexyss is an amazing presence and she's got some serious Spiritual Sexuality information for you. She does not hold back-she speaks her truth loud and clear. Alexyss will talk about her own life and gives her heart-felt advice to you, the audience. Please forward this email to everyone you know. Show your support for our new Naked Soma friend, Alexyss.

WARNING: NO KIDS... I MEAN IT... NO ONE UNDER 18 SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS BROADCAST...

Click on the headline to view one of Alexyss' youtube videos-again, no KIDS

Also, here are the Vagina Healing video clips that Alexyss talks about on our show:

Vagina Healing Part 1A

Vagina Healing Part 1B

Dont miss these!!

Join us on Wednesday nights from 8 to 9pm EST for our Blogtalk Radio Show Naked Soma http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nakedsoma (listen to the replay right now!)

********************************************************************

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you cant change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou

HOLIDAY POST: Santa had a broom and boobs and the Three Wise Men were Astrologers

2007-12-03T09:39:00.001-05:00

Yes, that's what I said... but why did I say it? La Befana is a character in Italian folk lore who bears a striking resemblance to Santa Clause except for the fact that she's an old woman who rides a broom.

On the evening of Jan 6th (Epiphany) La Befana visits the children of Italy and puts candy in their stockings. If the kids are not good, they get a lump of coal (hmmm...sound familiar?)

The legend says that the Three Wise Men-who were astrologers, asked La Befana directions to where Baby Jesus was. I think that was the last time a man asked for directions, by the way-but I digress... Anyway, she didn't know the way but she did put them up for the night. In the morning the men asked La Befana if she wanted to go with them but she declined. She needed to clean instead (she was known as the best housekeeper around...her house was immaculate at all times). Later she regretted her decision and decided to go out to find the Wise Men to no avail.. she missed out on this amazing opportunity. Because of that, La Befana is still searching for the child and in doing so she does her candy routine...

There are other versions of this legend which include more grim stories (you can read them in the link-just click on "HOLIDAY POST.." to see the whole article).

In modern times most children receive a lump of coal in their stockings. This "coal" is really rock candy with caramel coloring. The reason why they all get coal is because, lets face it, do you know a single kid who has been perfect all year? LOL

Once again this legend goes back to pagan roots when the Romans used to exchange gifts at the beginning of the year during a feast celebrating the god Ianus and the goddess Strenia. Those pagans sure did have fun!

Hanging her stocking by the fire with care... (and I'd like a slice of pizza in it please)

Professor Val

(Need some Personal Development Work? Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ABOUT TIME: Article in Newsday About Explaining Death To Children Extends Interviews to Non-Judeo/Christian Religions

2007-11-25T09:49:00.001-05:00

I always love when I run across an article in the paper that accepts and incorporates non Judeo-Christian beliefs into a mainstream article.

In this article (click on ABOUT TIME... to read the full article), the writer interviewed clergy about explaining death to children.

Two things struck me... The first was the mix of clergy interviewed included: a Rabbi, President of an Islamic Center, Methodist Minister, Baptist Minister, and a High Priestess of the Wiccan Religion. The second thing that struck me was the similarity of the gist of the responses.

When will the lightbulb go on for the Sapes out there? There is no right belief system and they are all essentially saying the same things using different words and different dogma...

Proudly Swinging on her Star,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Skin Hunger... do you have it?

2007-11-24T22:39:00.000-05:00

Do you crave skin to skin contact? How often do you have that contact? This article (click on SEX: Skin Hunger...to view the whole article) discusses sexuality in your 30s, 40s, 50s...

Interestingly the article talks about how our sexual focus changes when we hit 25-30. Isn't that the age at which Dr. Mark says we get our adult brain? It's likely that we fall into a sexual routine by this age-the newness is gone. Perhaps we have some kids running around that we are dealing with.

How about in your 40s? The focus then is on career and getting the kids out of the house. Because the focus shifts in this direction, this is prime time for couples to drift apart...

And then you hit your 50s and another set of issues come up-or dont... Men tend to question their machismo as they may not have the rock hard erections they did in earlier years...

Warning Warning, "Willie" Robinson...Danger
This is why Viagra is the powerhouse that it is. Did anyone mention that rare but scary little side effect of blindness? What good is an erection if you can't see where to put it?

Also in the 50s the likelihood of an empty nest is pretty high. Now you have to figure out how to be a couple again instead of Mom and Dad-your roles have changed dramatically!

Glad she married younger,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ignore this post...

2007-11-20T21:20:00.001-05:00

AddMe - Search Engine Optimization

Profiling Practice: What Is The Primary Domain Of These Celebs?

2007-11-16T16:22:00.001-05:00

ODD MAN OUT... Take a look at these four photos. Three of these celebrities have the same primary domain, the fourth is different...

First try to identify the celebrity photo that is the "Odd Man Out". Tell me how that photo is different from the others and then name the two domains present. I want detail as to how you came to your conclusions...

We went to see "American Gangster" last night (great movie, albeit long) and so I thought we'd start with "my man" Denzel Washington (see the movie..really)

Next we have Luke Perry (90210 and John From Cincinnati)

Drop it like it's hot.... Here's Snoop...

And finally, Yummy Johnny Depp....

SEX: STDs on the RISE...Gonorrhea Superbug

2007-11-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

WARNING: graphic and shocking photos below... STOP HERE if you are not 18 or if you are going to vomit on your computer screen if you see nasty, oozing photos... (Click on SEX: STDs on the RISE for the full article)

Once again we've got a serious issue in the USA... not only has Staph gone "superbug" but so has Gonorrhea...

I am always giving my students hell about protecting themselves if they are having sexual contact with others. I am very alarmed that almost NONE of the college students I've spoken with use protection during oral sex...

Still want to shove stuff in your mouth without thought?

Shall we discuss a few other lovely infections? Great idea Professor Val...

How about gonorrhea in the eye?

Yes, you can get it there..

What about a little primary syphilis?

More than ONE MILLION cases of Chlamydia were reported in our country last year. Want some of this? Keep up your risky sexual behaviors...

3/4 of all women who have Chlamydia have NO symptoms.

Tell me something-how will a condom stop you from catching this?

That is a right thigh and belly...

Perhaps you feel a handy is safe? No problem right? Hm.. how about this...

Yes, that's a finger with herpes...

So what have we learned here today?? That's right-SAFER sex is a must-and there is NO such thing as SAFE sex except masturbation...

Staying the F away from you sapes,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Shrinkage in Space and Other Cosmic Intercourse Issues

2007-11-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

Was there a Don't Ask, Don't Tell Experiment In Space?

Who would have though that sex would be such a hassle in space. (click on SEX: Shrinkage...to read the whole story) Sure the space suits would be an obvious issue but what about the efficacy of oral birth control, the effects of zero gravity on the blood pressure (causing a smaller than usual penis size), increase perspiration, etc... on the upside, zero gravity is great for sagging boobs and the like. Nothing like a cosmic lift!

Another major concern is how space would affect the embryo/fetus, should a pregnancy occur.

Sapes are always looking for ways to spice up the sex life. I'm thinking that micro-gravity groaning is not around the corner. Imagine droplets of sweat and other body fluids dancing around you as you are engaged in the act... Imagine needing velcro to keep you physically attached to your partner-hm... you don't need to be in space for that one.

Zero-gravity might just get me on my bathroom scale again,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Tens of Millions $$ Spent on Abstinence Programs and They DONT WORK

2007-11-07T14:41:00.000-05:00

THROW ME A FRICKIN' BONE HERE!!

Will someone please tell me why our government is pouring tens of millions of dollars into abstinence programs when they don't do a damn thing to stop teen pregnancies (and perhaps increase the likelihood of spreading STDs)? Click on SEX: Tens of Millions... to read the full article.

How about some common sense from the gov't sapes? Is that asking too much?

Stop wasting my damn money...

Hoping for some condom sense,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: The "C Word"... that's right I said it

2007-11-06T21:24:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard a guy insult another guy by calling him a "woman"? Is "woman" a bad word? The Etymology of the word "cunt" is not agreed upon by most scholars. I would love to be a fly on the wall of one of these egghead meetings where there are vicious arguments going on as to the origins of the word.

Based on my research, cunt likely meant nothing more than "woman". Like I said calling someone a "woman" is an insult... what does that say about women?

Society isn't all that kind when it comes to things that are feminine. Do I have to bring up the hatred I have for feminine deodorant products? Look, if you've got a stench coming up from the beave, GET YOUR BUTT TO A DOCTOR. Do not spritz it with feminine deodorant sprays or whatever other insulting product may be on the shelf of your local pharmacy. Don't get me started...

In honor of election day I have to post this photo...

You know you laughed...

We really need to start putting out better messages for our young women... being a woman is a GOOD THING and the vagina is a GOOD THING-it is not some dirty, smelly, vile place of shame. Listen to mothers talking to their little girls-it's not just the men out there who are adding to the negative connotations. You can teach your little girl the word VULVA or VAGINA... it's not necessary to call it "naughty bits" or "dirty place"... Check yourselves, Sapes!

Proudly Piloting The Vagina...no not the vajayjay,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ABOUT TIME!: Bible Belt University Acknowledges Pagan Holidays

2007-11-04T07:24:00.000-05:00

As much as we are told that the USA was not meant to be a Christian Nation, we can see the obvious bend toward Christianity being more outwardly respected than other religious. Even if we take a look at the Official National Holidays in our country (Federal Law 5 U.S.C. 6103):

Tuesday, January 1	New Year's Day
Monday, January 21	Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, February 18*	Washington's Birthday
Monday, May 26	Memorial Day
Friday, July 4	Independence Day
Monday, September 1	Labor Day
Monday, October 13	Columbus Day
Tuesday, November 11	Veterans Day
Thursday, November 27	Thanksgiving Day
Thursday, December 25	Christmas Day

we see an interesting entry. Yes, most of our holidays are secular in nature with one exception, Christmas.

Although all religious holidays are protected under our Constitution, one US University has specific policies and protections regarding Pagan Holidays. What blew me away the most about this is WHERE the colleges is. Marshall University is deep in the heart of the Bible Belt, WEST VIRGINIA! (Click on "ABOUT TIME: Bible Belt..." to read the whole article)

This is the first College/University I have heard actually protects Pagan students. If anyone out there knows of any others, please post them under the comments section of the blog.

Bravo to Marshall University for having balls and not bending to the pressures of the area in which they reside.

Shining her broomstick for Imbolc (click to read what that is),

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ASTRO MOMENT: Getting Ready for Mars Retrograde

2007-10-31T09:03:00.001-04:00

My students will tell you, I always announce when the planet Mercury goes Retrograde and warn them to back their computers up, confirm appointments, double-check plans, monitor their electronic equipment and car, and most of all be prepared to have dumb fights over nothing with those closest to them.

WTF does "going Retrograde" mean? It means that the planet looks like it's spinning in a backward path instead of moving forward. It isn't really doing that though-it just looks that way. No planet has a reverse gear. Earth is moving faster so it makes it seem that the other planet is moving backward. As I believe the world is holographic, we can be affected by any change in energy, including the full moon.

Now Mars is going retrograde so we need to talk about that. (Click on the "ASTRO MOMENT headline to see the full article.) The retrograde begins on November 15, 2007 but the shadow started on September 17th so we've been feeling the effects since then on a less critical level. The retrograde ends on January 30, 2008 and the shadow ends April 4, 2008... it's going to be a longgggggg retro.

Mars energy is war energy and aggressive energy. It can bring up a lot of conflict of both an internal and external nature. (Do you have some personal stuff you are dealing with with? Angry with yourself over something? Now you know why!). When Mars goes retrograde you need to stop, examine, and probably change your game plan in dealing with your conflicts. Don't do anything impulsive and try not to get caught up in the aggressive undertow-that can take you out to sea.

Mars can bring out lots of anger issues and it can also bring to the surface some passions that have been repressed for a long time. Perhaps you are in a less than happy or less than complete relationship-you are at risk of saying "F IT ALL... I NEED PASSION" and end up making things worse by being tempted to dig yourself a deeper hole by looking for that missing passion elsewhere... put the brakes on, my friends-this too shall pass.

We are in a Mars retrograde under a Scorpio Sun. This is extra spicy! The article talks about the Scorpio energy and that it's perhaps best to "lance the boil" and get rid of the underlying toxins. We tend to let things build up over time and then if they are not released, we go into a total crisis. Let this retrograde bring you into a HEALING CRISIS (Crisis=danger & opportunity in Hans characters, that is...chinese symbols or logograms)

So how do we deal with our anger, aggression, and boiling passions? Find someone you trust and talk it out. Have lunch with your most trusted confidant or mentor. Talk about those deep, dark things that society frowns upon-do not be afraid to bring the darkness to light. This is a time of listening so don't just talk-listen. It is then that you move forward and grow as a person.

Just Glad To Be Leaving Mercury's Sharp Claws,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Men-Masturbation, Penis Size, Normal Ejaculate...

2007-10-30T22:00:00.000-04:00

Men, Do you ever wonder whether you masturbate more or less than other guys? How about technique? Do all men use the same technique? Is your penis "normal"? Does other men's semen look like mine?

These questions and many more can be found in the article I've posted for you tonight. (Click on: SEX: Men-Masturbation... to read the whole article).

I hope you have alloted enough time to peruse this website in it's entirety... it's chock full of interesting info.

Bad Monkey....Bad Monkey,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ANNOUNCEMENT: Blogtalk Radio

2007-10-29T16:19:00.000-04:00

Meet us on Wednesday Nights from 8pm to 9pm New York Time (the website will tell you what time we are on in your time zone-click on the icon below to go to our show)

We talk about a lot of interesting things in an unusual way...

You can listen to our archived shows any time-why not right now?

Just go check us out... what are you waiting for?

SEX: Man Arrested for Cuddling with a Blow Up Doll in a Restroom

2007-10-27T12:02:00.000-04:00

You just can't make this stuff up. (Click on: SEX: Man Arrested... for the link) What possesses a man to take an anatomically corrected blow up doll into a public restroom and lie on the floor with it-doesn't he know that women work really hard to not allow their purse to touch the floor in a bathroom? This guy let his sexual needs override his common sense... Why not take the doll home and give it a poke-why on the floor in a nasty public restroom? Note: this man has a history of stealing mannequins... I wonder how his social skills are. Perhaps he would benefit from learning Social Somatics. Stay tuned for more on Social Somatics coming soooon!

Watching her step in the ladies room,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

MIND OPENER: The REAL history of Halloween and other Christianized Holidays

2007-10-27T08:28:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year again where intolerance rears it's ugly head and we'll see articles about how evil Halloween is or how it's satanic or how it's a time where freaks kill fluffy bunnies and children...

Sapes PLEASE open your mind and learn the history of Halloween (originally and still called) Samhain for some). Click on the article: MIND OPENER: The REAL... to read the whole article.

Most of our holidays are based in ancient Pagan beliefs but Christianized around the 4th century CE. For example:

*Halloween was Samhain and you can get lots of fun info about that from the article

*Christmas was Yule/Winter Solstice. The birth of Christ was not celebrated in the first centuries CE. It was also obviously not in the winter, as there were baby lambs etc. The official colors of Yule were, that's right-Red and Green. Mistletoe was a symbol of fertility (and often seen as a phallic symbol), Santa Clause was the Winter Stag God (and perhaps a Shaman-see a book called "Santa was a Shaman" by Tony van Renterghem), The Christmas Tree is also Pagan in it's roots, and Yule/Christmas was also known as Saturnalia, a celebration of the sun god Saturn.

*Groundhog Day-yes even that... was known as Imbolc which was a time of weather predictions and purification ceremonies for the Pagans. Yes they were checking out groundhogs and badgers and other woodland creatures to watch their behaviors and predict the upcoming weather for planting of crops-without those crops, they could not survive.

*Valentine's Day was called Lupercalia and was a celebration of the fertility god, Faunus. Some legends say it was celebrated similarly to a 1960's "free love" practice where everyone threw their hotel key into a hat and you'd pick a key and sleep with that person. Since there were no hotels or hotel keys back in the day, those celebrating Lupercalia would make a symbol on a rock and throw that into a hole and the celebrants would pick a rock and sleep with the person who owned the rock. There was also light whipping of the women by the men with items dipped in the sacrificed goat's blood, another symbol of fertility. Valentine Day cards came in during the late 1700s and chocolate much earlier in the 1500s.

*Easter was originally Spring Equinox or Ostara (Astarte which is a Chaldean or Babylonian word): This was a celebration of fertility which included the use of symbols such as, that's right Eggs and Bunnies-two obvious symbols of fertility... The idea of the sunrise church service to celebrate Jesus's rising is simply not true-according to Christian text, Jesus was resurrected at night and it was actually the Sun which was celebrated at sunrise-yet another Pagan idea.

*Mayday/Beltaine was a time of more fertility rituals. The Maypole was erected and danced around-think of it as a giant penis everyone danced around. It's a celebration of the marriage of the god and goddess.

Gerald Gardner (1884-1964) was one of the people who "rediscovered" paganism and brought Wicca to the forefront. Before that it was mostly underground where it was pushed by the Christians way back in the day. So now you know why Jehovas Witnesses refuse to celebrate holidays... they know where the holidays originated.

Wearing my star and letting them wonder,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

WTF: Mother shaves daughter's head and forces genital piercing

2007-10-26T08:23:00.000-04:00

I have always been annoyed that Sapes need a license for everything from owning a gun to driving a car to practicing therapy but there is no license needed to reproduce. Anyone can bring another Sape into the world without thought or care. People who shouldn't even be breathing the same air as other people because they are so vile, stupid, or horrid can just reproduce without having even a minimum standard of existence.

OK I realize what I'm saying is radical (and mostly tongue-in-cheek). I'm the last person to want bigger government or dismissal of any privacy or freedom in this country but for f-sakes, look at the insanity we live with day in and day out on this blue globe. The above article (Click on WTF: Mother shaves... to read the whole article) is only a mild example of things I've seen parents and other adults to do children in my role as a School Psychologist.

Looking for a heated cave with cable and internet in which to retreat,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

DRUGS: Is TV a drug? If so, I'm mainlining it!

2007-10-24T10:54:00.000-04:00

My pal, Dr. Jeb forwarded this article to me about TV and how it affects your brain chemistry. Here was my response to him (edited as needed for public viewing)

"This is exactly why I zone in front of the TV (and almost never watch a channel lower than 30 except Tuesdays for Cavemen). Mercola's video makes it seem like life is a bowl of cherries and only TV gives fight/flight response. Brother Please! Sapes (humans) suck, bills give me hemorrhoids, my car is at the dealership, I have 100 midterm research papers to grade, 200 random quizzes, 20 people a day seeking free therapy, cats eating me out of house and home and then crapping so that my eyes water (and scratching my new $3,000 couch), increased weight, decreased sanity...

TV seems the more sane vibe for me. Long live cable!!!"

And I stand by that... here's my therapist.. I mean my TV...

Riding the Alpha Wave,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

URGENT: COLLEGE STUDENTS AT RISK

2007-10-21T16:27:00.000-04:00

URGENT MESSAGE!!!!

Please be aware that an antibiotic resistant strain of Staph is being found in colleges (and gyms and elsewhere) and KILLING STUDENTS. It is being called the new HIV/AIDS

The latest outbreak was found right here in Westchester County at Iona College.

Those of you who are on sports teams must be especially careful. If you have any open cuts or broken skin (rash) at all you MUST cover them. If you use any workout equipment, cover yourself as much as possible-any open cuts should be covered and wipe the equipment down before and after you use it with antibacterial spray.

After working out, wash yourself (at home preferably) from head to toe and clean out any cuts with peroxide or alcohol.

Do not take this lightly-listen to your favorite professor!

In a full body condom,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

WTF: He's got to be EXO...

2007-10-19T22:22:00.001-04:00

Take a look at the video (Click on WTF:He's got to be EXO...) Now, darling students... tell me why I'm saying he's got to be EXO.

And while we are at it, lets review the domain profiling exercises you are doing this week...

Most of you have already submitted your answers to the question "What domain are these pics". Britney is PHYLO; Bill is ECO; Robert is EXO; and Drew is ECO... now I'd like to know how you came to your conclusions.... lets discuss it. Please give YOUR primary domain in your response. Lets see if there is a correlation between domains and reasoning for choosing the domain of the photos.

Check your email for the Sopranos round of "Name that Domain"...

Keeping her eyes forward-especially around enormous animals,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Hit Counter....no need to read this-it's just for my information

2007-10-19T21:45:00.000-04:00

SEX AND DRUGS!: Broke up? Can't Move On? Addicted to Love?

2007-10-16T17:43:00.000-04:00

AHA... there IS a reason some people have trouble moving on after a relationship ends and it might just be biologically based!

This article (Click on SEX AND DRUGS!: Broke up?...) describes an experiment where volunteers were asked to look at photos of romantic scenes while having brain imaging performed. Sure enough, the area of the brain most affected by these pictures is the SAME as the area that is affected by drug addiction.

Phenylethylamine (PEA) levels rise when a person is in love. PEA is a brain chemical that leads to euphoria. People can certainly be "addicted" to this euphoric feeling-what's not to like about that?

The article also gives some tips as to how to deal with the break up and moving on so if you are in that boat, read!!

Getting my high on buffalo wings tonight,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Renewable Marriage License? Hmmm...

2007-10-14T20:48:00.001-04:00

Yes, that's what I said-Renewable Marriage License-what do you think of that? The article (click on the headline:SEX: Renewable... to see the whole article) suggests that couples have a marriage license that is renewable every two years-so if you want to stay together you simply renew the license. If you do not want to stay together, then you simply move on. This idea makes divorce attorneys a thing of the past. Interesting thought, no?

I have done a lot of marital coaching and gay/lesbian partner coaching and I have come to a conclusion. One person can not meet all of your needs and to expect someone to do that is ridiculous. If you marry someone just like yourself, eventually you'll feel like you are in a relationship with your sibling (ew). If you marry someone completely different from you (opposites attract?), you may feel like you don't have much in common even though it didn't seem to matter when you first started dating.

You know who is responsible for your happiness? That's right YOU ARE. No one can make you happy-that comes from within. If you are looking for someone else to "complete you", you need to work on yourself. We need to be complete and whole before we get into relationships with others.

If you are expecting the Blue Mountain cards and flowers and special words past the first few months, you will be quickly disappointed. Romantic gestures are purposeful-they are a means to a bed....I mean end... um...

There are biological changes that occur when we get into a new relationship-we get a rush... a high from it. That high dissipates over time (usually 2 years which is coincidentally the amount of time the author suggests for the marriage license renewal) and then you Sapes out there start looking for another fix- Be aware that this happens. You could ruin a potentially good relationship looking for this temporary biological state that will just dissipate with the next one. What are you-some kind of new relationship junkie? CUT IT OUT!

Once that intense wave of chemistry subsides, you should now have a relationship that is on a different plane. It is a more mature and secure relationship. Isn't it your goal in a long term relationship to feel safe and secure and happy with your significant other? ORRRRR are you one of those chemistry junkies who just keeps looking for the new relationship high? It's temporary FFS-it'll keep happening over and over again. Get a grip, Sapes!

Current divorce statistics: "Recent US scholarship based on such longterm tracking, reported for example in the New York Times on April 19, 2005, has found that about 60% of all marriages that result in divorce do so in the first decade, and more than 80% do so within the first 20 years; that the percentage of all marriages that eventually end in divorce peaked in the United States at about 41% around 1980, and has been slowly declining ever since, standing by 2002 at around 31% [likely because of cohabitation]" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce). What would happen if people put their energy into their relationship rather than scattering it about in places it shouldn't go. What if you were to treat marriage/LTR like a living entity-if you won't nurture the relationship, it will die.

I'm on my second marriage so I am included in that statistic-second time around is very different from my first marriage. I actually forget I was married before it was so memorable (not). Speaking of that... Here's my hubby Rick... cute isn't he?

...and that's Jasper, he's adorable too

Rode the wave to the next plane,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

DRUGS: I guess Mr. Mackey was right... drugs ARE bad!

2007-10-11T18:20:00.000-04:00

This is a very effective video (Click on DRUGS: I guess... to see the video). Young folks think it's fun to party and not sleep and eat crappy....

Taking care of yourself is NO JOKE... I see so many students smoking-I always ask them why they are smoking. I think the most bizarre answer I've gotten to date was "to stay thin"-would someone PLEASE explain that to me? If you wore your lungs on the outside of your body you would NOT smoke-believe that!

Doing drugs (which of course includes alcohol and nicotine) is unfortunately a rite of passage for many adolescents and young adults. I always tell my clients and students to live in the present but don't forget that the future will come soon enough and you really do want to think twice about what you are doing-especially if your head is up your butt...

Healthy Liver - Liver with Cirrosis

So if all of these lovely body parts were actually outside of your body-like on your arm or your shirt or on the top of your head like a hat, would you continue drinking, smoking, and doing drugs? My guess is HELL NO!

I'll wear my lungs like a bikini and look damn sexy (ok, maybe that's a stretch),

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

WTF: New Category.... Taco Bell opens in Mexico?!

2007-10-10T08:06:00.000-04:00

What goes through the minds of people? Taco Bell is opening in Mexico-does that make ANY sense at all?

Sapes Like "Food Crack",

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Alexyss Tylor's "2 faced dick wars"

2007-10-09T17:22:00.000-04:00

Click on the "SEX: Alexyss..." headline to watch a video that is going to make your mouth drop open. If you are not 18, do NOT click.

ONTO Alexyss Tylor is quite an interesting person. In case you have not heard about her, she's quite the celebrity (at least on youtube). She has a cable access show in Georgia.

For those of you who are learning Universal Somatics (US), Alexyss is a GREAT example of an ONTO. Look at those tiger eyes... she's drilling a hole right through your head. For those of you who do not know what we are talking about you are missing out!

Please watch this video, listen to Alexyss and share your thoughts... I really don't have to say much-you guys will run with this one. This is a self-service blog entry LOL... oh boy, wait until you see this...

That reminds me, it's almost dinner time,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ROCK n ROLL: File Sharing Fine $220K. Do you file share?

2007-10-09T08:45:00.000-04:00

Remember the good ol' days of Napster and Morpheus? They are long gone as you know. With the advent of tons of lawsuits for "stealing music", have you curbed your file sharing?

How do you feel about the lawsuit? Do you think Jammie Thomas' fines fit the crime? Do you think her outrage at being found guilty is found? Thomas' supporters have donated $1,000 so far toward her fine-quite the drop in the bucket thus far.

Wondering when CDs became outdated,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

DRUGS/SEX: Can Hearing a Baby Cry Cause Lactation?

2007-10-09T08:24:00.000-04:00

Did I scare you? Did you run out to get earplugs? I bet you did! LOL This story is actually about a female dog and a little kitten. The stray kitten was very young and refused being fed by a bottle. The article claims that the dog began lactating to nurse the kitten. The two have bonded and the kitten apparently thinks it's a dog now-gnawing on bones with it's new mom and all.

From what you know about lactation, is it possible for your sense of hearing to trigger the body into producing milk in order to feed a dying baby?

Grabbing her pistol bag to find her ear protectors,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Bad Relationships May Literally Be Fatal

2007-10-08T21:02:00.000-04:00

That got your attention, didn't it! (Click on SEX: Bad Relationships... to see the whole article.) It's not surprising to hear that stress makes sapes sick (definition of sape: slang for Homosapien-that would be you-a human being). This article discusses how unhappy relationships with lots of strife can lead to heart disease or worse.

How can you lower the risk of choosing a bad mate and simultaneously improve your communication skills? Two words "UNIVERSAL SOMATICS" (a/k/a US). The more you learn about US, the more you'll want to know. Just when you thought you had it mastered, US will teach you another little tid bit that blows your mind.

Have you ever fallen into lust with someone, dated hot and heavy for months-maybe even years and then all of a sudden you felt like you were sleeping with your brother/sister? If you have experienced that, it's likely that you were dating someone who was the same domain as you (e.g. PHYLO/PHYLO).

So in 4 seconds you can know your domain and the domain of a potential mate. Doesn't it make sense to learn this very simple skill and instead of "wasting" 2 years with someone you can know in 4 seconds where it's likely to go? Makes sense to me. Had I known these skills in 1994, I'd have saved my parents tens of thousands of dollars for my first wedding and avoided several years of unhappy marriage and an uncomfortable (yet joyous) divorce.

Domain 'incest' doesn't always lead to a failed marriage. The more aligned the secondary domains are, the more resilient the relationship gets. Learning to open you're own identity up to these acquired perspectives adds depth to your life and new intimacy to what can become a stable, but stubbornly platonic monogamy."
We are having a free workshop in Putnam County, NY on Friday, October 12th at 7pm. There are a few chairs available in the class but are filling up quickly. If you are interested in learning a bit more about Universal Somatics, email us at nakedsoma@gmail.com ASAP for more info or to reserve your spot... no time to waste! You ECOs out there better do it RIGHT NOW or you'll forget all about it....

ECO and Proud,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

UNIVERSAL SOMATICS: Overview for newbies, review for the seasoned

2007-10-06T14:47:00.001-04:00

It just occurred to me that some of you have not been introduced to my partner and pal, Dr. Mark Filippi, creator of Universal Somatics (US). We use some of the terminology from US in this blog so I've copied and pasted some information from our website (click on UNIVERSAL SOMATICS: Overview... to check out the site) here for you to review:

The 4 Domains Cliff Notes

Just so you can begin to speak in the short hand of Universal Somatics lingo we created a fast track page. As we develop throughout the first 4 years of life we spend one year emphasizing one of these 4 ways to orient our experiences. The language of the 4 Domains amount to four ‘prefixes’ we all use to optimize our Sense of Coherence throughout our lives.

PHYLO—Think of a baby. Babies bond…that’s what they do. Those of us who are PHYLOs get our COHERENCE from our relationships with other people. Our eyes will draw you in and make you feel comfortable and/or safe. Examples…Will Smith, George W. Bush, Jessica Simpson

ONTO—Think terrible 2’s. These are the tantrum throwers. They are strong leaders, very creative and they have VERY strong belief systems. They get their COHERENCE from themselves. Their eyes come right after you. Examples…Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, Howard Stern

ECO—Think 3 year old. ECO’s are moving on…they have trouble committing to things, often run late (because they “lose track of time” or “get distracted”). They are very EMPATHIC, and have many extra-personal relationships. ECO eyes are hard to get a bead on and will sometimes seem to be in motion. Examples…Vince Vaughn, Carmen Electra, Lindsey Lohan

EXO—This is a 4 year old. The 4 year old can now understand that there is a future and a past. They understand consequences. They may begin to manipulate situations to their advantage. EXO’s have a utopian vision of the world and become very upset by the rest of us who are usually (in the eyes of the EXO) screwing things up. An EXO’s eyes may leave you cold or puzzled. They may be looking right at you, and then their gaze will stop…just short of engaging you. They are observing everything, analyzing, taking it all in and “putting it on a “map” or a “grid”. People often wonder, what’s going on behind those eyes. Examples….Barak Obama, Clint Eastwood, Natalie Portman

Now that you have the general idea, let's make this personal... go to the website and click on Self Profiler I and Self Profiler II at the bottom of the home page.

Professor Val, ECO at Large signing off...

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ROCK n ROLL: Ugh, Sometimes It's Just Hard To Care

2007-10-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

I just have to say that I'm sick of hearing about that PHYLO Britney and her crappy parenting skills (and her horrid music). I wouldn't know a Britney song if it bit me in my big white arse but I sure know too much about her life.

Then I hear the Spice Girls sold out in less than a minute... once again I just can't give a rat's roid...

ONTO Madonna got nominated for the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. I'm not saying that she isn't talented or that I don't occasionally wiggle to "Vogue" in the privacy of my own home but since when is dance music Rock?

I'm much more interested in the new Caveman show based on the Geico TV Commercials. It was rather entertaining. Sapes? Keep your penis in your genus? That's classic stuff! LOL

That's the guy who plays ONTO Maurice. There is also ONTO Nick, PHYLO Andy, and EXO Joel.... great names for cave men!

Most Sapes SUCK,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

DRUGS: What's in YOUR enema? Absorption happens...

2007-10-04T22:10:00.000-04:00

Here's a little tid bit for you that'll make you go "hmmmmmmmmmm". People tend to use enemas without much thought when they are constipated and miserable. Others use enemas as part of their sex lives. This fetish is called Klismophilia.

This news story (Click on the header "DRUGS: What's in...." to read the link) talks about a woman who was charged with negligent homicide of her husband with a sherry enema. Apparently, the husband enjoyed (was addicted to?) enemas on a regular basis and put alcohol in the enema bag so he could catch a buzz.

This last time, there was enough sherry in the enema mixture to cause a blood alcohol level of 0.47 which was 8 times the legal limit in their state.

Lets talk a little about the colon. The colon absorbs minerals from digested matter. It also absorbs the fluids used in the enema mixture. Because the colon absorbs so much water, it can throw off the body's electrolytes. People with heart conditions should not use enemas except under the direction of a physician. Abusing enemas can cause serious injuries and even death. Remember that the colon absorbs whatever it's in contact with so be as careful with what you put in your hiney as you would be with what you put in your mouth!

Klismophilia free,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: Finally Something That Might Motivate Me To Exercise Regularly!

2007-10-04T21:57:00.000-04:00

Here's a great question/answer from "Go Ask Alice". Women in the USA are often socially conditioned to feel like if they enjoy sex or masturbate it makes them "bad". If women would just let their guards down for a bit, they'd discover the wonderful world of orgasms-all different kinds!

If you don't know your own body, how do you expect anyone else to? It's up to you ladies out there to not only know your bodies but also be able to communicate your wants and needs to your partners.

In this article (click on the blog entry heading to get the link-"SEX:Something that..."), a young woman is experiencing orgasms during exercise on a regular basis. Her "partner" is her ab roller. My point is this...orgasms are there for the having. Be creative, be safe, and don't let our prudish society put the breaks on your sexuality. Enjoy every bit of who you are!

Heading for the Gym,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

ROCK~n~ROLL: Mosques and Mohawks... do they really mix?

2007-10-01T23:35:00.000-04:00

On the heels of the controversial visit from Iran's President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, I thought the above Rolling Stone Magazine article (click on ROCK~n~ROLL: Mosques... to read the whole article) would be of interest to my readers. What's it like to be a young Muslim punk musician in America post 9/11? Did you click on the link yet? Get to it!

The article talks about the first ever Muslim punk rock tour. The young musicians visited Islamic centers in many US cities to play music for their peers. They talked about how the males and females are separated in the audience. The thing that struck me hardest was when the band Secret Trial Five took the stage, the show organizers had the police shut down the entire show. Secret Trial Five happen to be five young Muslim women and it is against Muslim law for women to sing in public... The other musicians were pretty upset about that.

One of the band members, Basim Usmani was wearing a t-shirt that said "Frisk Me I'm Muslim" on it and was slam dancing with a dude who was dressed in a woman's burqa-that's balls. lol Overall the musicians felt that the tour was a positive experience and gave them a feeling of belonging which is something that they are apparently not getting from their local communities.

Hormone hell, pimples, separation and individuation, dating, college, and uncontrollable horniness is hard enough to deal with without also having very adult social, political, and religious issues to complicate things further.

Still scratching her uncovered head over the "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country" comment,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

DRUGS: Your Brain On Chocolate...it does WHAT to neurotransmitters?

2007-10-01T22:45:00.000-04:00

Is it possible to actually be addicted to chocolate? According to the BBC article (click on the title above (click on DRUGS: Your Brain... to read the article) chocolate actually affects our neurotransmitters and can change our mood. Learn about terms like "Chocolate Amphetamine" in this really interesting article.

WTF's a neurotransmitter you ask? Ever hear of Prozac? Prozac is an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) which in simplest terms means it mimics the shape of the neurotransmitter Serotonin and fools the brain into thinking that there is more Serotonin in the brain. Serotonin, Norepinephrine, Dopamine etc are all neurotransmitters. These natural chemicals help the neurons in the brain communicate. When they are out of balance, anything goes. We could have anxiety, depression, psychosis, etc...

Now that you've had a review about neurotransmitters, the article will be more meaningful. Read and comment.... If chocolate is deemed as an addictive substance, would you give up your Twix? Is it possible to drop the Paxil and grab a peanut butter cup instead? If it were that simple, would you do it? Are you doing it now?

I haven't had chocolate in years.... boy would I love a hunk about now!

Jonseing for a Snickers Bar,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: China Bans Ads for Sex Toys, Bras, and Sexy Undies

2007-10-01T21:36:00.000-04:00

Read the above article (click on the headline "SEX: China Bans...) and lets talk about it. China is putting it's foot down about any type of sexy advertising, including the advertising of tonics that enhance sexual performance. Here in the USA we find advertisements for all kinds of bras, underwear, Viagra and several other erection medications and my very favorite (NOT) feminine deodorant products.

I always tell my Human Sexuality students that vaginas should not have an offensive odor. If they smell funny, someone needs to get some soap and water working OR they've got an infection. In neither case mentioned above should a douche or deodorant spray EVER be used. The vagina has a very delicate balance of natural, healthy flora. Petunia scented vag-wash destroys that balance and may cause YEAST INFECTIONS... if you want to have a bad day try a yeastie on for size!

If I wasn't all about the First Amendment, I'd like a ban on these products. Little boys and girls who see these commercials grow up to think that women's privates are raunchy and vile places.

What I'd really like to see a commercial for is a nice testicle freshener... "Nut-Fresh" or perhaps "Peen Purifier"... Until that time, I wish we'd remove the offensive products off the TV or minimally educate our young women about the facts and dispel the myths.

Smelling Like A Rose,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)